I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
