scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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