3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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