Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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