i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
