I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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