Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
