I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
