I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
ttyl tear gas
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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