Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Randomize
