Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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