I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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