They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
