you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
