does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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