can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize