We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
