Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize