drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
