The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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