your parents love me but you hate me
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
