when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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