Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she looked like the before picture.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
