i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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