PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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