your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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