Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
