..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
