I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
