goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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