I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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