I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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