sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
