mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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