Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
