I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize