I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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