He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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