Sober January is a disaster.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
