Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
