as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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