my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize