This is the prime rib incident all over again
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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