thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
