I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
