took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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