rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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