Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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