the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
