I can text with my tongue
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
