You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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