this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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