maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
