i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
