he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
