FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize